Rebirth of a Star General - Chapter 126

Chapter 126 The Moon (Part 2)

He Yan never felt that there would be such a difficult time in life, so difficult that he could not take one step forward.

She hasn’t seen the moon for a long time.

From the time of blindness to the present, she lives in a muddle-headed manner. Xu Zhiheng comforts her and will always be by her side. He Yan also smiled and said okay, but no matter how calm she was, her heart was dazed but fearful. In her life, she faced many difficulties, most of the time she just stood up with a breath of breath and told herself that it would be fine to cross this step. Before I knew it, when I looked back, I had already crossed many steps.

Only at this step, she couldn’t make it, and she didn’t know how to make it.

He Yan, who is no longer General Feihong, is just an ordinary woman. An ordinary woman is suddenly blind. Although her husband still treats her well, it seems like a flower in the water, with a kind of illusory perfunctory. She can’t feel it.

On the Qixi Festival, she sat in the mansion until late at night, and did not wait for Xu Zhiheng to return. I thought it was because there was something in the DPRK, but I found out the next day that Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Wanru to the temple fair the first day. She fumbled and sat down under the window in the house, quietly listening to the gossip of the maid outside.

“The uncle and the madam quarreled yesterday, and the quarrel is known to the lord. The master is in a bad mood. Those of us who are subordinates are unlucky. It’s not all because of the person in the eastern courtyard.”

“If you want me to say, the uncle is too soft. The man in the east courtyard is now a blind man. How can our big grandmother of the Xu family be a blind man? It’s not a joke. Madam has even pushed outside banquets these few days. I just don’t want others to ask.”

There was a little maid who could not speak for her: “Grandma was not born blind. Suddenly, she is already very pitiful.”

“Poor? What’s so pitiful about her? Even if she is blind, she can stay in the house and be served every day. At least there is no shortage of food and clothing, which is different from that pet. The poor one is the uncle, who is young, just We have to be tied up with this blind man for a lifetime. Our uncle has learned Wushuang, what kind of woman can’t find? I want to look for this?”

“Yes! Uncle is pitiful!”

Words like this seemed to be carried with a sharp hook, piercing each sentence into her heart, and she was dripping with blood.

At night she sat in the house, waiting for Xu Zhiheng to come back, and said to him: “Let’s get together and leave.”

Xu Zhiheng was startled, and asked softly, “How do you say such a thing?”

“Or you can leave me.” She doesn’t like to bend, to be honest, “Now I can’t see it anymore, there is no need to drag you down.”

“You and I are a husband and wife,” Xu Zhiheng shook her hand and said, “Don’t mention these anymore, rest earlier.”

He turned the conversation aside, but did not deny He Yan’s term “dragging”.

He Yan’s heart gradually sank.

Every day after that, she lived the days when she was dressed to open her mouth and stretched out her hand, and she often heard the ridicule of the people in her house secretly. Mrs. Xu was also holding a gun and a stick when talking to her. He Yan dragged down the Xu family from both sides.

Xu Zhiheng still treated her tenderly, but there was nothing else but tenderness.

He Yan felt very tired.

She seemed to be walking on a dark night road with no pedestrians beside her. She couldn’t see the light in front, and there was nowhere to go behind her. She didn’t know when she would come to the end and end this tormenting life.

A few days before the Mid-Autumn Festival, she said to Xu Zhiheng: “I know the Yuhua Temple on Lianxue Mountain. There is a fairy tree in the temple. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, can we go to the mountainous area? I want to hang silk on the tree. Make a wish, maybe my eyes can be cured.”

Since blindness, she has almost never asked Xu Zhiheng, Xu Zhiheng was taken aback for a moment, and finally agreed. He said: “Okay.”

When Xu is unlucky, drinking cold water will have his teeth choked. In previous years, the Mid-Autumn Festival was sunny, but this year, it rained for several days. When the carriage walked up the mountain, the sky was so gloomy that it was impossible to go down the mountain that afternoon. Maybe you have to stay on the mountain for one night.

Xu Zhiheng helped her to the ups and downs in the temple. A monk put a piece of red silk into her hand and told her where the fairy tree was behind the temple. He Yan moved the red silk to thank the man.

The monk clasped his palms together and said kindly: “If you do not die in a hundred thousand calamities, you will be rewarded when you meet your destiny.”

She doesn’t understand Buddhist scriptures, and she will ask again later, the other party has already gone far.

It was raining, Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Yan to the fairy tree.

There are stone tables and stools next to the fairy tree, for the pilgrims who usually hang red silk to write. Xu Zhiheng laid the red silk for her, put the pen in her hand, and said: “Write it.”

Based on his feelings, He Yan slowly wrote: I hope I can still see the moon.

Don’t think about it, but also know that the handwriting must be crooked and horrible.

After writing, she cherished the red silk into Xu Zhiheng’s hands, and Xu Zhiheng hung the fairy tree for her. He Yan couldn’t see anything, so he didn’t see it. Her husband stood up and hung the red silk on a branch beside his elbow. He didn’t even bother to reach out and tie the red silk and just put it up casually. There was no shelter on the tree, but for a while, the red silk was dampened by the rain, and the writing on it quickly became a blur of ink stains, and it was hard to see what was written.

“Let’s go.” Xu Zhiheng came over and helped He Yan to leave.

With a “bang”, a thin thunder rang out, and suddenly a cool breeze blew, causing the branches to rustle, and the red silk that had not been tied was blown off by the wind, and smashed into a small pit with water, splashed all over. Muddy.

He Yan seemed to be aware of it, and asked anxiously: “The wind is so strong, won’t you blow away the silk?”

“Why?” Xu Zhiheng smiled and relieved: “The tie is very tight.” After that, as if he hadn’t seen it, he raised his foot and stepped over the red silk.

…

The rain showed no signs of stopping, so I had to stay overnight in the mountains tonight.

Xu Zhiheng went to find the master of Yuhua Temple to discuss the scriptures. It was already evening, and He Yan sat quietly with the lamp lit in the room.

At this time, she should have collapsed and rested long ago-a blind man had nothing to do except sleep and eat. But tonight the rain was sparse, and she couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t know when she called the maid’s name twice, and no one answered, she helped the wall and walked out slowly, planning to call someone.

When I walked to the door, I heard two maids talking.

“I seemed to hear the grandma calling someone?”

“Is there? Just scream, don’t worry, it’s so late, tell people what to do. They are already blind and toss, really treat themselves as a grandmother.”

He Yan was startled.

These two maids were not her personal maids, they belonged to Xu Zhiheng’s house. They had the most gentle and gentle temperament on weekdays, and because of Xu Zhiheng’s relationship, they had always treated her respectfully and respectfully, but they didn’t know what she was talking about in private.

“If it weren’t for her to go up the mountain today, we wouldn’t have to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival here. It was still raining outside. It’s really bad luck. The uncle is so kind-hearted, so I don’t feel annoyed with such an oil bottle.”

“It’s not that you don’t know the uncle’s temperament, on the surface it is not annoying, and there is always a grudge in your heart. Our Xu family is now a joke in the capital. The uncle has always been arrogant and feels very uncomfortable when I want to come. If I were her, He was hung on a rope, and it was a drag on others.”

“Shhh! This is nonsense!”

The speaking maid disagreed, “It was originally, just like an animal, waiting for people to feed every day, sleeping when you are full, and being served forever. I can neither leave the house nor see it. Taste, one or two years will be fine, and it will be like this for the rest of your life. What’s the point of being alive? It’s better to die early and get free, and you can see it after you have a good baby in the next half of your life.”

“Stop talking, there is hot water outside, let’s get some hot water first.”

The footsteps faded away.

He Yan turned his back to the door and slowly sat down.

Yes, one or two years is enough, it will be like this for the rest of your life, what’s the point of being alive?

The maid in the master’s house, the master looks up at someone, and he dare not trample anyone. Since the two of them were able to talk about her so casually, they knew that Xu Zhiheng was in the room, not as blameless and regretless as before her eyes.

However, in this world, there are a few people who can do no regrets.

He Yan didn’t know if there were any lights in the room. To her, it was all the same darkness. Suddenly, there was a feeling of despair. He practiced martial arts when he was young, entered school when he was young, and later went to the battlefield to fight for military merit, and spent his entire life making wedding dresses for others. After finally taking off the mask, thinking that everything could be started from scratch, but at this moment, he fell into darkness and trapped him in a four-corner house for the rest of his life. Someone had to follow him when he took a step.

Human despair does not accumulate overnight. Those little things in daily life, the enthusiasm that cannibalize people, the enthusiasm is consumed little by little, disappointment and heaviness are layered up, and the last straw floats down with a crash, hoping to sink into the water.

Despair is overwhelming.

She fumbled and stood up slowly.

There was a belt left over from the clothes in the room. She picked up her outer garment and put it on, picked up the bamboo pole used when she was blind, and walked out tremblingly.

The people in the mountain monastery were scarce, but because it was dark and raining outside, the monks had already entered the temple. She walked indiscriminately, but didn’t hit anyone else.

Thanks to the young man in the army, he barely developed the habit of having an amazing memory of the journey. She still remembered Xu Zhiheng telling her when she went up the mountain that there was a dense forest in the mountain stream not far from the temple. Suspended waterfalls, such as pearls and jade falling on the plate, are magnificent and beautiful.

There are mountains, water, and trees, which is not bad, but it is a pity that it rains tonight and there is no moon she likes.

It is always inconvenient for a blind man to go out, especially in the muddy mountain road. She didn’t know how many falls she fell, how many times she tripped over stones. I just felt that my clothes were dripping wet and my hair was scattered. In the end, panting, no longer knowing where he was walking.

She fell in front of a tree and knocked her head on the trunk. He Yan stretched out his hand and fumbled over. The tree was very big, and it should be an old tree.

There are dense forests with waterfalls, maybe you can’t find them, just here. She has never cared much about foreign objects, and it took a long time before she moved to a rock.

Exhausted, He Yan sat down on the stone.

The rain was a little lighter, and it hit people densely. The young woman looked up at the sky, as if she could see the moon. Only the rain slid down her cheeks, and she wiped the water off her face.

“Mo Zuojiang goes on the boat, Mo Zuojiang goes on the moon.”

“The boat carries people to leave, and the moon shines to leave.”

For this world, she has nothing to nostalgia for. The only reluctance is that there is no moon tonight.

He Yan stood up slowly and touched the cloth beside her. The cloth was tied tightly. She pulled it down, very steady, and it shouldn’t be disconnected.

Kicked the stone away.

…

The cloth twisted into a rope broke.

He Yan was caught off guard and fell to the ground.

The mud all over the floor splashed on her, she was taken aback for a moment, and suddenly understood that the cloth was broken.

Was it broken?

For a moment, she couldn’t restrain the inexplicable grievance and sorrow in her heart, choked for a moment, then sobbed softly, and then, lying on the ground and crying loudly.

He Yan rarely shed tears.

A general, shedding tears is a morale-affecting behavior. On the battlefield, she must always maintain her self-confident and full-spirited appearance, as if no one or anything can affect her judgment. When I am not a general, I feel hypocritical if I want to shed tears.

But there are always times when people are fragile, when they are left out, they can stand it when they are blind, when they hear the maid taunting and taunting, they can stand it when they are hinted by their mother-in-law to become a drag oil bottle.

But if she couldn’t even search for death, and even cut the cloth, she would not be able to bear it.

Tears were hot, and big drops followed the mud under the cheeks, and couldn’t tell which was rain and tears.

She cried heartbreakingly, and suddenly, she heard an unfamiliar voice.

It was a man’s voice, in the wind and rain, his voice was low and sweet, with a bit of impatience, and asked: “What are you crying for?”

He Yan’s cry stopped abruptly.

Xiao Jue looked at the woman in front of him.

This is a woman seeking death, embarrassed all over her body. Wearing a white shirt, he took a red outer garment. The outer garment even had his belt tied upside down. Perhaps he had fallen a lot on the road, and his clothes had knocked a few holes. Her face is also very dirty, like a cat, with mud everywhere.

Xiao Jue came from Aijie, but felt that this scene was very dazzling, and finally couldn’t help taking out a white handkerchief and handing it over.

The woman did not answer, and made a defensive posture, and asked, “Who are you?”

For a moment of surprise, he noticed that the opponent’s eyes drifted a little, thought for a moment, put the veil away, knelt down and asked, “Can’t you see?”

The woman froze for a moment, and replied fiercely: “Yes! I’m a blind man!”

Said arrogantly.

Feinu stood behind him and was about to step forward, Xiao Jue shook his head gently at him.

He Yan clenched his fist vigilantly.

I just wanted to hang myself quietly. How about now, the cloth was cut off, and the stranger saw the embarrassment. Why does God always treat her so unexpectedly?

Xiao Jue glanced at her faintly, bent down to pick up the flying knife on the ground, just now, he used this to wipe off the cloth on the tree.

“What do you want to do?” He Yan asked.

Xiao Jue: “Passing by.”

He is really not a good-hearted man who is nosy.

Doing this step is done with all my benevolence. Xiao Jue stood up, turned around, and walked a few steps. Fei Slave approached and whispered: “Today, there are only Hanlin scholar Xu Zhiheng and his wife in Yuhua Temple. This woman should be the blind grandmother Xu, He Yan.”

He Yan? He raised his eyebrows, He Rufei’s sister?

Xiao Jue turned around to look.

The woman had already fumbled and found the cloth that was broken in two. The cloth was not long, but it was still usable if it was broken in two. First, she made two gestures on her neck with half of the fabric, and when she was sure it was still usable, she tremblingly tied the knot with the fabric.

She actually wanted to hang herself again.

Xiao Jue was a little weird, and then he wanted to laugh a little.

This kind of obsession is almost stupid, and it is very similar to her cousin.

Most people are looking for death, but just for a moment, they hang on the lake and jump off the cliff with one breath. As for the moment when it is true, most of the people will regret it in their hearts, but it is too late to regret.

Since this woman had already tasted the taste of dying, she would not seek death again. She did not expect to be so persistent that she would continue if the rope was broken.

He shouldn’t care, no one can stop a person who wants to die.

However, in Xiao Jue’s mind, it suddenly appeared that many years ago, it was also such a Mid-Autumn Festival night, when the young man returned to his home in a panic, waiting for the cold corpse of his mother.

The scene before him seemed to overlap with the past, and for a moment, he couldn’t tell whether it was today or eve.

Feinu was behind, looking at him puzzledly.

Xiao Jue took a deep breath, finally compromised, walked over to the woman and asked, “Why are you looking for death?”

He Yan was taken aback.

She had clearly heard the footsteps of the other party leaving, how could she suddenly turn back? She has been trying to make things better and being manipulated all her life, and now she has come to the head, and she no longer wants to think about others. This person’s meddling has made her unhappy, and all her anger is on the other side.

She almost roared back: “I want you to take care of it!”

The young man grabbed her arm and dragged her up from the ground.

He Yan was shocked, struggling twice, but she was stumbling and losing strength, and she couldn’t see it. She was dragged away for a while, walked two steps, was thrown off, and sat on the ground.

The ground is soft, a piece of grass.

The man seemed to be standing next to her, bending over to face her, his voice cold: “Why are you looking for death?”

He Yan also suffocated in his heart, and said loudly: “I told you to take care of it! There is no moon today, so I am looking for death! The road up the mountain is too slippery, so I am looking for death! I have to break the rope when I tie it, so I Seeking death! I met a nosy person like you here, so I’m looking for death! Is it okay!”

She yelled fiercely, but tears rolled down her eyes. She was a fierce tiger, and looked more like a wet wild cat with nowhere to go.

Feinu stood nervously behind Xiao Jue.

It’s very rare that the second son of Xiao is willing to take care of this kind of nosy with patience. This woman is still so fierce, and it is even rarer.

After He Yan roared, he suddenly felt something wiped on his face. Soft and dense like clouds torn down by spring.

Indifferent, with a touch of unnoticeable, tolerant warm comfort sounded.

“If you really want to be strong, it doesn’t matter if you are blind. Even if you are blind, you can be the most different among the blind.”

Her rage came to an abrupt end.

All the embarrassment and weakness are invisible, and they are all exposed to people.

“It’s nothing, although I can’t see it, but I can still hear it. It’s okay to have you with me.” She smiled and said to Xu Zhiheng.

How could it be okay?

How could it be okay?

She traced her eyes with her fingers over and over again in the night, praying for God to pity and see the light again the next day. Those tossing and turning nights, the nights that gritted their teeth and told themselves that it was okay, and the nights that pretended to be incapable of dealing with nothing, they didn’t know.

They don’t understand anything.

A passing stranger understands.

Can’t cry, can’t be seen weak, can’t complain, can’t lose temper. It took too long, until these emotions were like silkworms spinning, layer by layer around her into a strong cocoon. She sits alone in the cocoon, cut off from the outside world.

Outside the cocoon, He Yan is gentle, optimistic, and always smiling and thinking about others. He Yan in the cocoon, suffering, grievance, and suppressing the cry for help.

For so many years, from “He Rufei” to “He Yan”, her mask has never been taken off.

Until tonight, a stranger passing by, saw through everything, took off her mask, and found her tears.

All her defenses and vigilance were instantly discouraged, and she slowly lowered her head, tears smashing down even more.

Originally thought that after saying this, He Yan would not cry anymore, but she didn’t expect that she would cry more loudly. The rain showed no signs of stopping, and the grass underneath had been drenched by rain.

Xiao Jue hooked his finger and Fei Nu stepped forward. He took the umbrella in Fei Nu’s hand and put it on He Yan’s head.

He Yan still didn’t stop.

He had never seen such a ferocious, bad-tempered woman who was especially capable of crying. It was hard to imagine that He Rufei’s silly and happy temperament would have such a completely different sister.

Xiao Jue was so startled by crying that he couldn’t bear it, and finally he said, “Don’t cry.”

“Why can’t I cry?” If she doesn’t recognize any kind of wild cat, showing her paws at the feeder, her voice is already dumb, and she has to argue: “I not only cry, I want to hunt for death, I’m already like this. What’s the point of being alive, oooooooo…”

Xiao Jue: “…”

He has never coaxed a woman before, the first time he coaxed a woman is such a result? So oil and salt don’t get in?

“How on earth do you stop crying?” He held back his anger, “so that he won’t hang himself.”

He Yan was sobbing and crying. When she arrived, she actually had no intention of seeking death. Sometimes people are just stuck at that juncture. Once it has passed, it has passed. The passer-by came out inexplicably, and that sentence was not much warm, but…

However, she didn’t want to die anymore.

She said: “If you can give me a candy now, I won’t die.”

When she was young, she liked to eat sweet things, but after she was five years old, Mrs. He took care of everything very strictly. For fear of exposure, the habit of being sweet like a girl must be changed. Later, he joined the army. There were no sweet candies in the army, only crude cakes. After he got married, once He Yan saw He Wanru was sick, Xu Zhiheng went to see her and brought her a small box of candied fruit.

He Wanru took a sip of the medicine, and Xu Zhiheng stuffed a candied fruit into her mouth. He Yan saw it when he passed by the window. For a moment, his heart felt sour. I don’t know if he envied Xu Zhiheng for being so good to He Wan, or he envied him for eating a little bitterness, and he could get a lot of sweetness.

He Yan has never been self-willed, but for some reason tonight, he seems to be trying to maximize his self-willedness on this stranger.

The young man was slightly startled, and turned his head to look at the people around him.

The woman’s face was rubbed indiscriminately by the veil, her cheeks were still muddy, her eyes were slightly red and swollen, but they were surprisingly bright, and her stubborn expression seemed familiar.

He looked like a clumsy boy.

He was silent for a moment, and his slender fingertips untied the sachet on his waist.

Feinu was surprised.

The dark blue bag was held in his hand, he pinched the bottom of the bag, and an osmanthus candy wrapped in sugar paper was poured out.

After too long, the sugar paper has been stuck with the sugar, and the original appearance cannot be seen in the black. After Mrs. Xiao died, Xiao Jue took the last sweet-scented osmanthus candy with him. These years, this candy has accompanied him through many difficult years. When you can’t hold it, you can taste the sweetness of the world by looking at this candy.

This is the only bit of sweetness in his life, and now, he wants to give it to a woman who is crying and crying for death. He thought, he doesn’t need sugar anymore in his life, so be it.

He Yan felt something stuck in his hand.

She clenched subconsciously and wanted to peel it off.

“Can’t eat.” The man’s voice rang beside him.

“What?” She said: “Are you lying to me? Just find a stone and tell me it’s sugar?”

He Yan heard the voice of the other party, with a faint sorrow, “This candy is only the last one in the world. It’s very sweet, but you can’t eat it.”

“Are you sick?” He Yan never knows that she is such an impeccable person. She thinks that this person must have a good temper and a soft heart to tolerate her repeated mischief. She said: ” It’s very sweet and can’t be eaten. There is only one in the world. Is this a gift from your majesty?”

She didn’t see the handsome young man sitting next to her, bowed his head and smiled indifferently, and said, “It is more precious than the gift of God.”

He Yan took advantage of the fact that the other party was not paying attention, and quickly tore open the candy paper and stuffed it into his mouth.

“You…” He was stunned.

“I have eaten it, swallow it!” He Yan played a rogue.

The other party did not answer.

This is the first candy she has received in her life. The taste of candy is very strange, mixed with her tears, so bitter, she thought, so be it.

“Did the rain stop?” She didn’t feel the rain falling on her body, she reached out her hand and scratched it casually, and asked the people around her.

The young man on his side has been kneeling on one knee, holding an umbrella for her. The umbrella surface is not large. Most of his body is wet, his angular profile face, his eyelashes are stained with fine water, and the light of his eyes is filled with a layer. A touch of tenderness.

“Stopped.”

“Is there a moon in the sky?”

The sky is deep and there is no star, where does the moon come from?

He replied: “Yes.”

“What… outside?”

“The bright moon is like frost, the wind is like water, and the scenery is infinitely clear.”

He Yan showed his first smile tonight, “It’s great.”

She heard the person next to her ask: “Don’t want to die?”

“forget about it.”

“Go home if you don’t want to die.” He said, pulling He Yan up. He Yan subconsciously wanted to grab his hand, the slender hand with distinct joints was released extremely quickly.

Xiao Jue walked up to Feinu and whispered: “Send someone to the sister-in-law’s room and let the sister-in-law send it back. I am a man, so it is inconvenient to come forward.”

Fei Nu responded.

When he was about to leave, he suddenly added another sentence: “Warn Xu Zhiheng and tell him not to do too much.”

This meant he was going to make an appearance for He Yan.

Feinu came over and wanted to support He Yan. He Yan seemed to feel that the other party was leaving, and reached out to the person’s direction. She said, “…Thank you, who are you?”

He didn’t speak, He Yan only had time to grab the corner of a sleeve and slid past her hand, cold and soft, like moonlight.

Obviously she couldn’t see anything, but she saw the light in a daze, warm and cold, hot and bright, without half blame, patient, tolerant, and seeing through all her secrets at a glance, and then gently wrapped her.

She didn’t know who the other party was in the end.

It was the worst Mid-Autumn Festival that He Yan spent. She was muddy and unkempt, only a tiny bit away from the desperate situation. Fortunately, the moon was always by her side.

There was no moon that night, but the moonlight was so beautiful that night, and the thin and soft light has warmed her for many years.